Trying to Figure Things Out...

Wednesday, April 9th, I spent most of the day protesting the Chinese rule of the Tibetan people. The Olympic Torch made the only North American stop--amidst controversy, debate, and pain--in San Francisco. The fact that there was protest and conflict over what is supposed to be a worldly event--the Olympics--is disheartening. The Olympics, at the core, are supposed to embody an event in which countries put aside differences, if only for 2 weeks every 2 years, and compete, civilly (though, not always the case, but the point, nonetheless). The reasons behind the protest--the Chinese rule, humiliation, violation--are clearly unthinkable--50 years ago and today.


When I got back to the office, I got a call from my dad informing me of my uncle's death. My uncle was too young; his wife is too young to be a widow; his daughters are too young to be without their father. I know people die; it is natural and a part of life. This does not make it less difficult. I am trying to decide if death ever gets easier to accept. As I get older, I feel death of those close to me spooks my understanding, my humanity, and my mortality. No, it really does not get easier. Maybe I am just supposed to be able to accept it because that is what happens, that is the way it goes. I am concrete, and as creative and flowery and pink and purple and yellow and orange I sometimes like think I am; I am concrete. I like order. I like plans. I like answers, reasons why, an ending to a book. I think this is why I did not like the movie No Country for Old Men. It just ended. Nothing else. No reasons why, no closure.

My uncle was funny, corny, happy, friendly, caring, loving. He was a person, just as we all are. It is hard to accept things we cannot understand and cannot change and cannot see. And maybe trying to find an answer is the hard part about death, because there isn't one. It is hard to accept a reason that does not exist.


These two events, on any given day, would have stuck in my memory. Given they occurred on the same day and the magnitude of the reasons behind the Olympic protests and the magnitude of losing a family member will stay with me forever. I cannot understand the reasons people treat each other the way they do and why humans believe other humans are not equal and must (and can) take what belongs to them. I cannot understand why some people's bodies are able to withstand less and their time is shorter.

Trying to figure things out...maybe I need to try to accept I will not understand why and how and the reasons (if there are any). It is still hard.

Point Reyes National Seashore, March 2008

Visitors from Hibbing

Yeah, so my parents are awesome. They came out to visit this past weekend. I thought I might be able to sneak away from work early, but due to the craziness, my parents came to the office and helped me mail about 1000 letters. There are really better things to see in SF than the Greenpeace office, the Connecticut Yankee bar (though, some may disagree), and me. I wanted them to get out and explore a bit more. But the troopers they are, they stayed until it was done....As a payment for their generosity and help, I took them to Sunflower, a quaint Vietnamese restaurant in the Mission. My dad, however, said it was the worst meal he had ever eaten...Come on, really?! He eats just about anything! Yeah, so I completely struck out that day.

Saturday, though, I think I was able to redeem myself. We rented a car and drove through Golden Gate Park to the beach. We crossed the Golden Gate Bridge and headed to Muir Woods and kept right on driving because it was too busy! I have filed this note into my tour-guide book...don't go to Muir Woods on the weekend! We stopped at Stinson Beach to walk on the beach and have lunch. Slowly, we made our way up HWY 1, stopping to see seals, walk on the beaches, and let cars pass me...apparently 30 MPH is too slow...I haven't driven in a while!! Really, the roads were just too curvy!

Our destination all along had been Point Reyes National Seashore. I had actually read about it in Real Simple Travel magazine and it is only about 50 miles from SF. It was so beautiful; the waters were blue-green. It was so windy the spray from the waves created a salty mist. This part of the coast--about 7 miles, I think--is known for being really treacherous and windy. In fact, there is no swimming, surfing, wading EVER! And there are sharks, which would be enough to keep me from the water! The area is a crazy combination of pasture lands, sand dunes, and this amazing seashore. We got to the lighthouse after it was closed, but were able to walk out to the point and check out the view. Apparently people go here to whale-watch, the peak season being in January, but we did not see any whales.

We spent the night in Petaluma, a cute, very Californian town. Sunday, when we returned to my apartment, I made them dinner, which they graciously and politely ate. I think I withheld the meat too long because my mom made ribs when they got back to Hibbing! Didn't they always tell me to eat my vegetables? Though, usually they were cold by the time I choked them down with gulps of milk. So things change.

We had a great visit. Through the years they have really turned into my best friends.

I am so lucky.

Girls Rock

Two weeks ago, I went to see the film Girls Rock. It is a documentary about a girls-only, Portland, OR-based, rock and roll camp. It follows the 2005 camp week and specifically, follows 5-6 girls closely. The girls' ages range from 7-17. They are amazingly self-aware. What struck me the most was some of the girls where so uninhabited and just loved what they were doing--they were not afraid to be themselves. Most of them realize they have this talent--music--and are going to do whatever it takes to play, sing and "rock out." FYI: This can mean many things--including screaming into the microphone, playing a guitar across the back of your neck, and drum solos, among other things.

The film is so sweet and heartbreaking at the same time!

It made me remember (as if I could forget) how hard it is to grow up and grow up being a girl. It is so hard to teach girls, especially in this day and age, how to remain true to themselves, not apologize for being who they are, and not to get caught up in the pressures. Actually, I still struggle myself. Anyway, I think it is limited theaters right now, but might expand, with popularity. Definitely check it out at Girls Rock.

Paul & Andrea at Grgich Hills Winery, Rutherford, CA

Sun, Soccer, Wine

Paul came out to SF this past weekend for the long weekend...of course, as always, the time went too quickly! Lucky for me the start of the work-week brought rain, not the bitter cold of MN and ND...

We had a great Valentine dinner at one of my favorite SF restaurants, Herbivore. We walked around so I could show Paul what I had learned about my somewhat-new neighborhood...Dolores Park, Tartine, Delfina, Bi-right, Mission Dolores. Yes, I am still renting out my tour-guide services...

Friday, while I was working, Paul explored and walked around Fisherman's Wharf, the Financial District, Chinatown, and North Beach...needless to say, as he and our friend Jen put it, "his dogs were barking" at the end of the day.

Saturday morning, we went to the Ferry Building Farmer's Market. Everytime I go, I wish I was going back to my apartment soon afterward, so I could buy everything! It just has a great atmosphere too! The produce is so amazing; there was music, potted herbs, dried fruits, nuts, breakfast stands. Paul and I spent the rest of Saturday walking around the Embarcadero and Union Square. Saturday night, I had gotten tickets to a soccer documentary, Zidane. This film followed French soccer star, Zidane during a 2005 match. Literally, followed him the entire film. There were something like 17 cameras capturing his every move. I know Paul especially enjoyed the film, which I am very glad. I, on the other had, would have been better suited to see Zidane in a matinee...I fell asleep...

Sunday, Paul and I rented a car and drove northward to Napa. We enjoyed a tasting at Sautri Winery, which was a little too busy and crowded for our liking. We especially enjoyed Grgich Hills Winery, a smaller winery, whose wine was organically and biodynamically produced. In addition, we stopped at the Franciscan Winery, which had a more modern and intimate tasting room. We ate at a wonderful place Paul had found called Ubuntu, a hip, vegetarian, yoga restaurant.

The long weekend was refreshing and the weather was amazing!! We had an awesome time!

A Californian?

Yes, that is right, I have decided to take a job with Greenpeace and stay out in San Francisco...

My internship went really well; the staff here at GP is great. It is a very friendly and supportive atmosphere, and I feel like I really fit in. I got involved with the organization at a good time and there are more entry-level jobs now than at most other times. I am very fortunate! So, I do have mixed feelings about taking the job...I keep telling myself this is all a part of the adventure and nothing has to be permanent...I can pack up and leave tomorrow, if I choose, or I can stay for years. This is the sort of work I want to do...so what better organization to do it with/for.

There are 2 campaigns that are run out of the SF Greenpeace office--global warming and forest campaigns. My new job would be Campaigns Assistant, so I will be assisting everyone on both campaigns. I have been learning a lot and trying to quickly become acquainted with the organization and all of the processes/procedures.

I moved to a new apartment the beginning of February. I have one roommate now--instead of 6--her name is Jene and she designs jewelry. She is really great and makes me laugh! She has a great sense of style, is really outgoing, and a little (ok, very) dramatic! I think it is so funny, I called a cab to move! I only have 2 large bags worth of 'stuff,' so moving was easy! It is actually a very freeing feeling to not be bogged down with stuff. I have realized I do not need as much. Before I speak too quickly, though, I must admit, I have acquired a few more things...though, if I stop now, I may still fit into a cab the next time I move!

I have taken a part time job--mostly weekends--at a local sporting goods store. I work in the running shoe and triathlon departments. I think it will be a great way to meet more people and hopefully get together with a training group(s) for upcoming tri or running races.

So, my adventures may decrease or at least the sight-seeing part. But I will keep this posted as to my doings and such. I still have a lot of exploring to do...