I did my first time trial bike race yesterday. While I didn't really know what to expect and how hard to push, I felt ok with the results. Well, I pretty much got last place--this is not an exaggeration--but I don't have a really fancy bike/gear, and since this was my first race, I am trying to cut myself a little slack. A time trial is a timed race, each person goes out by themselves (1 minute apart for this race), as hard as you can. It's a race against yourself, in theory--since the closest competitors are 1 minutes behind and in front--but, it's also against everyone else in your age group and division. This was a 10 mile course (5 out, 5 back), with "rolly hills" and one climb at mid-point. I didn't know how hard to push on the way out, so was probably too conservative, but the way back I knew, so I pushed a little harder. It was fun though; a good experience for me. I ride a lot at an even, conversational-pace, so hard rides and pushing my legs faster is really good for me. Plus mentally, it's really hard to keep pushing myself when I'm so tired. So, despite coming in last, I was satisfied with the effort and day.
Three of my bike teammates raced the team time trial at the same race--same concept, but with a team, obviously. They did awesome and were leading the field, until a crash about half mile to go. Scrapes and bruises, but no broken or separated body-parts, and spirits were still high. Even still they got 3rd place by only 10 seconds! They're totally awesome!
While I want to report my races and life in this blog, I also want to be able to report all aspects--Good and bad. Ups and downs. Because I don't always have a great run, even when I'm on a trail in the sun; or a good day. And something I think is a big deal today, really isn't. And when I read about it what I've written, I might be a little embarrassed I was being so trivial, but also, that I was being honest and I can grow from that. I've been accused of being "stoic" on numerous occasions. I kind of take offense to that, because I feel it's negative and that I really don't think I am. I think I am good at hiding my emotions, when I'm freaking out on the inside. It doesn't mean I'm not feeling anything.
So, here goes. Even despite the great day at the race, afterward, I had a bit of a freak out about my training. I am worried I am not going to be ready for my race. I have been doing all that I can to fit in training, work, rest and still maintain a normal life. The latter is definitely lacking (though, I figured that would happen). So yesterday, after the race, I didn't bike (I have been tired all week), but took a ride home with my teammates. The whole way home, I was aggitated because I didn't bike and I should have. I keep thinking I am not doing the training I am supposed to be doing. We stopped for lunch and I couldn't enjoy myself since I kept thinking about my training. It practically ruined my whole day. So, when I got home, it was late afternoon, I got on my (other) bike and went to run errands and work for a few hours. This was Saturday, and I couldn't relax and have fun with my friends--like normal people on a normal Saturday. And since I couldn't get my bike ride in and I was so upset, I had to go work for a few hours--just to feel like I was doing something productive. And then I was too tired to go out last night, so I stayed in. I guess, I just need to find a balance for fitting it all in and I am really struggling.
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