30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

I love the blog Mark and Angel Hack Life. They offer tidbits of wisdom, advice on self-improvement, cleaning the clutter of life.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Words to live by...

I just read this quote--great advice. It is easy to get caught up in the rat race. And even so, as I run (literally and figuratively) here and there, holidays, events, friends, it's easy to lose myself in it all. If I can't prevent the busyness, I can do my best to have good manners.

"Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother." 

North Face Challenge Trail Marathon

Yesterday, I ran the North Face Challenge Trail Marathon. I ran last year, in a downpour, "skated" through the muddy and muck, and still had a blast. So, after I forgot the pain of last year, I signed myself up again this year. It was an amazing day, perfect for running--sunny and clear mid-50 to 60-degrees. The hills were tough, but I took my time, walked up the hills and was able to finish "upright" and under 5 hours. Trail running seems much more laid back than road running. Walking up hills is considered "ok" or actually, encouraged. The aid stations have treats--salty--potato chips, pretzels, potatoes, soup broth, and sweet--m&m's, energy chews, soda, pb&j sandwiches--all to keep us going. I probably drank a whole can of Mountain Dew throughout the race and several handfuls of potato chips; both of which I generally don't eat or rarely (I think the last Mt Dew I had was at a sleepover in 8th grade!), but both tasted so, so wonderful during the run. Since the sun was out, after the race, many people lounged around on the grass, refueling on provided pasta, soup and salad, cheering the finishers of the 3 races--marathon, 50km, and 50-miler.

Xmas Tree Shopping

Since "pop-up" stores are all the rage these days, I guess then, so would be pop up Christmas tree lots. Seems that every neighborhood has one. RQ is hosting a holiday party, so we walked up the block to the pop up lot, set to find the perfect tree for her apartment. So many to choose from!

Happy Thanksgiving

This morning I was one of hundreds of volunteers to deliver 5000 Salvation Army meals to San Franciscans. I did it because I can; because I have great family and friends who love me (and vise versa!); I have enough, more than enough, in fact. I am so fortunate. And so thankful. Delivering meals was something small I could do for people who don't have as much as me. Today, at least, I know they had a good meal. I was able to get a photo with Santa too, right before I picked up the meals.

Lovely Guests

"Taste testing" local beer at 21st Amendment

Last weekend my brother and his girlfriend came to visit. It was great to see them! And so much fun to explore. This is my brother's 4th trip (!) out here, since I've moved, but it was his girlfriend's 1st. They did a little sight-seeing on their own--Alcatraz, Chinatown, Fisherman's Wharf, Golden Gate Bridge. We spent Saturday wine tasting in gorgeous Sonoma County; it was an absolutely perfect fall day, grapes were ripe and still on some of the vines. Sunday, we explored Baker Beach, and I showed them the beautiful (and outrageously expensive) homes of Sea Cliff. And of course, we ate at one of the local Mission taquerias; unfortunately the traveling Mariachi band never made it by. I had such a great time with them! They're so much fun. I always feel so lucky when people want to take their vacations here. I know it's a "destination" and there is a lot to see (besides me!), but there are so many fun, interesting other places to visit.

Baker Beach

Golden Gate Bridge

Baker Beach

NYC Marathon

Wow, what an awesome race. 47,000 runners lined up last Sunday to take part in the event. The race is a "tour" of all 5 boroughs of the city. It starts in Staten Island,  heads to Brooklyn, then Queens, Harlem, and finally Manhattan. There are bridges throughout: the Verrenzo Narrows Bridge (the race begins on it), the Pulaski Bridge, Queensboro Bridge, Wills Ave Bridge, and Madison Avenue Bridge. Whew! The bridges were deceptionally difficult--they're a long up and then a long down. Gradual, it's hard to even feel or see it. My body definitely felt this at the end!

The weather was perfect for running--sunny and 50-degrees. The crowds during the race were like none I've ever experienced--so much energy, excitement. There were clever signs, "Toenails are overrated," marriage proposals, "go Mom" or "Dad" signs. There were 103 bands on the course, keeping the runners and crowds energized.

The race began on the Verrenzo Narrows Bridge on Staten Island. There were 3 waves of us--I was the last wave. The bridge is a double-decker, so each wave was split into corrals, and 1/2 of the wave began on the top and 1/2 on the bottom. I can't imagine the logistics of a marathon with 47,000 participants--wow. It was so well planned and organized, probably the best event I've been a part.

Until about mile 18, I was able to enjoy the race, read the signs, smile. After 18, my pace slowed a bit, my legs and back hurt. I stopped looking at the crowds as much and made it a goal to run water station to water station, which were every mile. It wasn't really fun anymore. But I told myself, this isn't easy, and I'd done plenty of difficult things in my life (well, it's all relative, I guess), I could do this.

The finish area was a little conjested and my body was in a lot of pain. I just wanted to sit, but we had to keep moving through the line. After picking up my medal, food and water, clothing, I was able to exit Central Park and find somewhere to sit and stretch. After about an hour, I felt better and was able to smile again.

Afterward, I headed back to Brooklyn--on the train with about 1000 other runners! I felt badly for the "normal" people, who just happened to get stuck on the wrong train with all of us! I am sure we smelled great. JD, CS, and I had a great dinner in Prospect Heights (I think) at a great little Mediterranean restaurant.

The next morning, I flew back to SF. The race was an amazing experience. I'll never forget it. I would love to do it again.

Ready or Not--picking up my race packet!

Staten Island Ferry

Staten Island Ferry

Statue of Liberty from the Ferry

Verrenzo Narrows Bridge--Start of the race

Finished!